💀 pour oublier ma peine immense

[bonnechance]

It had been a long and hard three years.

Ladybug had run out of fingers with which to count the sticky situations she and Chat Noir had been in because of Hawkmoth. But finally, finally, she and her partner had him dead to rights. As time went on, they had grown desperate, and they'd made mistakes - but nothing they hadn't been able to fix. He'd made mistakes, too, and that was how the two of them had managed to track him down.

Heart pounding, she cast her gaze down at the man that had been their adversary for so long. Hawkmoth stared back at the both of them with a dark glare full of loathing. There were a lot of things she had wanted to ask him when she finally caught up to him, but there was only one question she was actually able to form.

"How could you?" She whispered, her voice ragged. She was breathing heavily - the fight had taken a lot out of her. Out of her partner, and out of their enemy, too; had it gone on much longer, they all might have dropped dead out of exhaustion. "You hurt so many people."

Hawkmoth's eyes glittered, and he pressed his lips together into a thin line. Ladybug felt something roll down her cheek - sweat, she hoped, and not blood or tears, but she'd taken a hit to the temple earlier and she couldn't be certain that it wasn't bleeding (and in fact it was). But she was in better shape than him, at least. He was beaten down, he had lost.

All that remained was to take his Miraculous and make sure that Nooroo's power never, ever fell int the hands of someone like him ever again.

His refusal to answer stirred anger in her where there had once been pity.

"Men. Women. Children. You used them all - and for what? What on earth could have been worth it? I don't understand. Explain yourself, Hawkmoth."

He didn't answer. He looked between the two of them, seething. Ladybug scowled and knelt down in front of him, curled her fingers around his brooch, and yanked it away from his suit.

The magic holding his transformation together fell apart, and Nooroo emerged from the butterfly Miraculous at long last. Ladybug cradled him in the crook of her arm and watched as the facial features of their nemesis became clear.

A well-dressed man, middle-aged. Nobody she recognized. Without his Miraculous, he should have been powerless. Defeated. Done for.

She didn't catch his smirk until it was too late.

His hand darted into the suit jacket that hadn't been there before, and his fingers closed around something she couldn't see. "I'll make you understand," He snarled, and the next thing she knew his hand emerged from the jacket and the crack of a gunshot split the air. "Perhaps now we'll share the same wish."

There was a gun in his hand, Ladybug realized, as a dull roar and the man's twisted, bitter laughter filled her ears. He hadn't aimed at her. She turned toward her partner with dread.

He had aimed at him, and his laughter was not the laughter of a man who had missed his mark.

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[bonnechance]

She stared at him.

"To... earn it?"

Marinette had to repeat it to be sure that she'd understood, because it just sounded... odd, to her. They were friends - no, more than friends. Partners. It was only natural to stick by someone you cared about, and earning it had absolutely nothing to do with it.

"You've been yourself. That's... all you should ever have to do."

[sunsoutpunsout]

It should have been reassuring, but instead, Adrien's heart sank, the fear creeping in.

That was it, wasn't it...?

What if, with his mind damaged, with his memories scattered, he wasn't the person she remembered? What if this was permanent? What if he didn't get better? What if he didn't live up to what she knew?

It wasn't something he had the courage to say aloud. Instead, he touched her cheek, felt her warmth, and drew it in.

Let it keep him in the now.

[bonnechance]

She leaned into his touch, kept her hand on his cheek, brought her other hand up to gently brush away some of his hair as she looked into his eyes.

...nothing about this was easy. They had each other, at least, but still -

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked, her voice soft. Gentle.

She'd never once worried about him not being the same person she remembered, because memories or no memories, he was still Adrien. The thought came so naturally to her that she didn't even think to reassure him.

[sunsoutpunsout]

Marinette's hand felt good on his skin, and he shut his eyes, the better to appreciate it. (Not to hide, or so he told himself.)

"I'd like to get back to feeling like myself," he confessed. Never mind that he wasn't quite sure who that was. He knew this wasn't right, knew that his mind was fragmented, that he couldn't remember things that meant the world to him.

"I don't like feeling helpless."

He opened his eyes, looking around the room, and made himself smile, even if it was a little wry.

"Or trapped."

[bonnechance]

"You're not helpless."

That, she firmly believed. Even if he was feeling weak, dizzy, and sick, Marinette was absolutely sure that he could do anything he put his mind to - and that included breaking out of here, if he was so inclined.

...something about his wry smile made her chuckle.

"And, I can believe that." A pause. "...when Chloé came to visit you, did she... tell you about how you ended up going to school with us? I could tell you the story, if she didn't."

The fact that they'd met in the first place because he'd snuck out of his house spoke volumes about how little he liked feeling boxed in.

[sunsoutpunsout]

Adrien finally met her eyes, then settled to lay back on his pillows, though it put him out of immediate reach, if she didn't move with him.

He lightly touched her wrist, as if he wanted to stay in contact with her.

"No, she didn't?" Chloé had talked a little about how things used to be, but... only the stuff he remembered. Not what he didn't. "How did I ever convince my Father?"

[bonnechance]

She didn't move with him, because she wasn't sure he wanted her to, but when he touched her wrist, her lips twitched up into a smile and she shifted her hand so that she could lace their fingers together.

Friends hold hands.

"You... didn't, exactly. At least, not at first."

Marinette gave his hand a light squeeze.

"On your first day of school, you snuck out of your house and beat Nathalie and your bodyguard there. You were really determined."

[sunsoutpunsout]

Adrien relaxed as Marinette took his hand. The pillows were soft, and as irritated as he was, as much as his head was pounding, he felt grounded by her grip, her warmth, and her voice.

Already, the story was making him smile, showing the edge of teeth.

"Father must have been so angry."

[bonnechance]

"From what I heard, he was upset, but..."

She smiled. Adrien had convinced him, some way or another - Nathalie had something to do with it, too, but Marinette didn't actually know that.

"You kept coming back to school after that, and he let you. So even though he was angry, you did manage to get through to him."

[sunsoutpunsout]

Adrien's eyes and face softened, warmed. He didn't exactly remember, but his father was far from all bad. Apparently, Marinette understood that, at least a little. He'd taken an interest in her (Adrien ignored the twinge of jealousy) so it made sense.

"Is that how we met, then?"

She'd mentioned they'd gone to school together, and it made sense... but it seemed so simple.

[bonnechance]

"Yes."

...she wasn't sure she wanted to go into the details, but - if it helped, if it jogged his memory even a little, wasn't that a good thing?

"To be honest, we... weren't friends at first. There was a little bit of a misunderstanding involving you, my seat, and a piece of gum Chloé had left there, but... you won me over pretty fast."

That was an understatement.

[sunsoutpunsout]

It didn't jog his memory, not the way he would have wanted it to. Nothing so clear. It was an impression of things, mixed with his imagination, vague enough to be nothing concrete.

His brow creased, and it brought on the beginnings of a headache. It was too much, too big to drop at once.

"Can you tell me more?" he asked, carefully taking her hand in both of his. His hands were steadiest when she held them. "It doesn't have to be big things."

[bonnechance]

"About how we met...?"

She tilted her head to one side and put her other hand on top of his - so that one of her hands was sandwiched between his and one of his hands was sandwich between hers. The contact helped them both, though perhaps Adrien needed it more.

"Or just about things in general?"

[sunsoutpunsout]

"Things in general. Things about us."

He wanted to remember -- it was massively depressing to be told about his own life, without having any memories to go along with it. It hurt to watch her recall things he didn't, knowing how important they were.

But if she gave him something small, something to work with, maybe it would trip more. Maybe it would help.

In the meantime, he focused on the warmth of her hands.

[bonnechance]

"Hmm... let's see-"

There were a lot of things she could draw on, really. Not so much that was super recent, between them as Adrien and Marinette, but... a lot of things from school. Even more from their nighttime forays onto the rooftops -

But maybe it was too soon for that.

"You're really good at Mecha Strike III," she settled on. "I'm not too bad, myself. We've played together."

[sunsoutpunsout]

Surprisingly, it did trip something. It was more of an impression of a feeling than a concrete vision, but he looked down at their hands, picturing it.

Frustration- but how did that make sense?

He wanted to play it, but his fingers weren't coordinated enough. Not yet. He'd definitely lose, and-

"... you're really good at it," he said softly, blinking a few times. "Aren't you?"

[bonnechance]

"Umm... maybe a little."

The attempt at modesty was accompanied by the kind of smile that made it obvious she knew she should try to downplay it for the sake of being polite... but also that she knew she was just as good as he was saying.

Maybe even better, honestly. Her dad had trained her well.

"I had a lucky charm that helped me out, but-"

...she'd let him borrow it. Actually, come to think of it, had she ever gotten it back?

[sunsoutpunsout]

Lucky Charm.

The words tripped something in his head, something painful, tangled, leaving him a little breathless. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision. Lucky Charm...

"What did it look like?" he asked, already picturing it in his mind. Vague, fuzzy, but... a bit of jewelry, of some kind? Wasn't that right?

[bonnechance]

"A bracelet," she answered.

No matter which lucky charm he was thinking of - the gaming one or the one that came from her earrings - it was technically right. Funny how jewelry seemed to play a pretty big role in their lives.

"It's a bunch of different-colored beads on a red string."

[sunsoutpunsout]

A bracelet wasn't what he was thinking of, but a moment later it did come to him. Frustration, futility, and a multicolored bracelet... it-

Adrien closed his eyes, picturing it as best he could.

"It was green in the center," he whispered, but his mind kept catching on red.

[bonnechance]

Marinette's eyes lit up, though with his eyes closed, Adrien wouldn't see it. He would hear the excitement in her voice when she spoke, though.

"That's right!"

He remembered it. He actually remembered it.

Her heart gave the weirdest flutter. It had been years ago, when they'd first started getting close enough that she could talk to him and only made weird, incoherent noises about half the time instead of all the time, and it was really such a small insignificant thing but it had meant the world to her and he remembered it.

[sunsoutpunsout]

Adrien looked up at her, caught the excitement, the joy, and he felt a pressure in his heart, a happiness. He wanted to remember, especially if it made her this happy. He squeezed her hands.

He wished he could remember what happened to the bracelet. He remembered her giving it to him to hold onto, but... he wouldn't have thrown it away, would he? Where would he keep something like that?

... he didn't want to send her to look, and have it be gone.

It was something he'd need to do on his own.

"What else?" he asked, excited, hopeful.

[bonnechance]

They were making progress.

Marinette beamed, even as she thought back, tried to figure out what would trip something else for him. The bracelet had been a lucky guess - her lucky charm at work again, maybe.

What else, what else...?

"You helped me and my parents unload deliveries at the bakery sometimes," she went on. "You said you'd help whether they fed you or not, but they bribed you with croissants and other pastries anyway."

[sunsoutpunsout]

... at the bakery. Her parents owned a bakery. Adrien went quiet to listen, casting his mind about the vast, clouded jumble of things he couldn't focus on. It was like being locked in a pitch-black basement packed with storage. He didn't know what anything was, but if he could feel it out-

He didn't remember unloading, but he did remember, with startling clarity, the taste of quiche.

"They... came in a lot. While we were playing video games. To give us food."

[bonnechance]

...he remembered that too.

Well, of course he did. Both of her parents were great cooks, and the bakery's wares were not to be forgotten. She grinned at the memory, although the way they'd kept coming in had annoyed her at the time.

"That's what they do best," she explained with a small, fond smile. "I think they've made it their personal mission to make sure that nobody who sets foot on their property goes home hungry."